Hole in the Soul..

There's a void.

And I don't know how to fill it.

It eats at me. Every minute of every day.

Its like this black hole.

That's sucking me in inch by inch.

I want to save myself.

But there's nothing to hold on to.

I grasp at empty space.

Desperately trying to find you.

But you are nowhere.

Every moment I wait,

Takes me a little further away.

Further away from you.

I try to claw back to you.

But you are so far away.

My strength wont get me that far.

The hurt doesn't soften over time.

It still jabs at me as sharply as then.

Chipping away at me.

At the passion i feel for you.

Draining away my spirit.

Till there will be nothing left.

No fire.

No Peace.

No Love.

No me.

I need you, now more than ever.

To make it sunnier again.

To cushion the fall.

To shield me from all that pain.

I cant wait to be the last thing you fix.

I don't want to be left like this,

Left on my own,

To soothe my own pain.

I cant do it anymore.

Not on my own.

U make me Smile

I smile. Alone. and I'm thinking of you.
And i say to myself that I'm smiling thinking of you.

There's a song playing when I'm smiling thinking of you, that says something about holding hands when one's saying something.

And now I'm smiling because i think I'm gonna do that.

So when i am alone again, sometime later and think of the import of that small smiley moment, i come to know how much i love you.

that this love may not have been that torrid one night stand, turning into something that maybe lasted a while...but a slow steady and sure love that ensured I'd want you for the rest of my life.

for all life.

i know it when you're next to me.

i know it when you're not next to me, when you're in the next room and even when you're half way across the country.
i know that all is well in my world.

and that's all there is to it.

you make me smile. and all is well. and that's all there is to it.

Of Mornings filled with love..

I think of those mornings...
While i lie, tangled in sheets, sprawled across the bed in the early hours of the day...
And i hear you. I hear you bustling around in the kitchen. Doing this and that. trying to be quiet, to not wake me up.
I hear the boy walking around you. Sniffing here and there. Tripping you once in a while.
I hear as you open the door and take the milk and paper back to the kitchen.
I smell the coffee even as you put a spoonful in my cup. I hear you stir.
I hear you yell softly, and shut the boy so YOU can be the one waking me up.
I hear you come walking softly, believing in your own world, that I'm fast asleep. I pretend to be.
Nothing seems precious enough to even compare to those minutes i lay in bed listening impatiently, waiting for you to come wake me up.
Nothing makes me happier. Nothing's more peaceful. Than the image of you kissing me good morning first thing in the morning.
And I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that you are what i want, what i will always want, for the rest of the days i wake up...